i've been in a funk. the past few days have felt like a blur...no energy, no rest, no light, not even much love. why? it becomes evident how much my thoughts are my reality, as my waking life is but an echo of what bounces through my head. sometimes i can't tell if the weather affects my mood or my emotions affect the weather...
and here i write. finally, accomplishing a goal that has remained dormant for years. i write. without stopping. without thinking. for all to see, to judge, to read, to contemplate, to receive. and without ceasing...how difficult this can be?! even rambling "i don't know what to write" when i come up short must do.
with meditation tonight i received finally...received from within after a drought that lasted too long.
*create*
images of paintings, drawings, writings...all flashing through like life's fleeting memories before death. the stagnation of me recently can be put to an end. receive my value. receive my worth. i came here to create. to heal. to change. and to be the change i wish to see in the world. how difficult this can be though, and so often taken for granted. we can't all be a modern-day ghandi. for that matter, we can't all be a modern-day savior.
create.
how often have you created recently? depression grows when thoughts don't become manifest, left to continuously clog the inner levels of mind without a prayer of escape. fly free! grow! bloom! a subconscious garden awaits us all, if only we give it light. light-the key ingredient to so much of life on earth, seems scarce sometimes in my home. a reflection of my self, i know, though the realization can be accusing and harsh. but change is constant...the only constant of this production we call life. by resisting it becomes painful; by embracing it becomes useful. life is but a tool to use in sculpting our ideal universe...to raise mountains and expand galaxies. how do we tap in to it, though? how do i unplug my self from the matrix and see my Self for who i am?
who am i?
i don't know.
and i will find out. my awareness thus far is but the light at the end of the tunnel, beckoning me ever onward toward the freedom that awaits. how much faster can i run?
